why you’re NOT unattractive

/ Absolutely Olivia

How many attractive qualities can you name about yourself right now?

If you named more than three, you’re doing incredible, my friend. If you named less than three, this post is for you.

The definition of attractive means having beneficial qualities or features that are appealing to the senses. When one person tells you something good about yourself (i.e. something attractive), it’s easy to let it replay through your mind a few times and let yourself soak in the words for a bit. When one person tells you something bad about yourself (i.e. unattractive) it’s even easier to let yourself succumb to the replays and be drenched in fear that the negative words said against you are true. This happens to the best of us and no one is ever entirely free from feeling this way, especially when the words come from someone we know.

Being turned away from a person that you were trying to build a friendship or relationship can make you feel inadequate. This feeling is typically a small one, nagging at the very back of your brain, but occasionally it builds and becomes front and center. It leads you to as yourself: “why am I not enough?” and “what is wrong with my personality, looks, etc. that makes them not want to be around me?” Maybe you find yourself asking these questions. Sound familiar?

If at times it feels like loneliness is something you’re going to have to accept and begrudgingly welcome into your daily life, I have a news flash for you:

Just because one person does not find you attractive, does not mean that you are unattractive.

It’s as simple as that. Tying your worth up with rope made from negative words someone else told you will fail to increase your self-confidence, but will succeed at diminishing it.

If I let my worth be decided by the words thrown at me, I would see myself just as they do: loud, annoying, uncontrollable, intimidating, weird, crazy. I would look in the mirror and see myself how society believes all those traits to be: unattractive. But let me repeat this for you:

Just because one person does not find you attractive, does not mean that you are unattractive.

Earlier this week, I saw a quote somewhere that said something along the lines of: “When you find the right person, you’ll never be too much of anything to them. You’ll be just right.” I cannot stress how true this is in friendships and relationships. If it fits, it will feel right; you will feel right.

When you feel like you’re not good enough for someone, realize that they are the one making you feel that way. Remember the friends, family, and others who do care for you and find you an attractive person to be around. It could be twenty people and it could be just one person. No matter the number, that still makes you attractive and enough.

Find a positive spin to put on the negative qualities people say you possess. If people call you too loud? Tell them “no, I am outspoken and unafraid.” If people say that you’re too intimidating and uncontrollable? Tell them “no, I am independent and know what I want from my life and the people in it.” If people tell you that you’re too weird? Tell them “no, I am just being my truest self.” And so on.

Now that we’re at the end of this post, I want you to read this line and repeat it out loud as many times as it takes to sink in:

Just because one person does not find me attractive, does not mean that I am unattractive.

I believe in you and your attractiveness endlessly.

💜Love, Olivia

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17 thoughts on “why you’re NOT unattractive”

  2. It’s a beautiful topic, one with which all of us are confronted from time to time… I still find it difficult to deal with critique, because I sometimes think I shouldn’t care too much. And on other times, I think, maybe they’re right and I was too harsh, too loud or too insensitive… It’s all about finding a balance and learning and grow each day… And on a side note, can’t believe how good you’ve gotten at this whole thing! Your pictures really look pro. I can see the progress and how much you’ve grown! Congratz on that! xoxo Sarah

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  4. Love love love this post! Something that always made me feel self-conscious was how big my nose is. Being Italian, it’s kind of a given lol and I always wanted to someday have a nose job. My current boyfriend has been the only person to ever tell me he wouldn’t want me to change anything about how I look cause he loves the way I am. What really matters to me is how I feel about myself, but he’s definitely helped me to accept everything about how I look (:

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  6. Such important words you’ve shared Olivia!

    I’ve recently started a relationship with a lovely guy, and I’m so happy. Before this, I was focusing on feeling complete and building a relationship with myself, knowing that eventually that’ll lead the right person to me.

    I’ve found in this relationship so far, I’ve learnt a bit and shifted my mindset. Both of us believe that authenticity, bravery and vulnerability are good. I don’t feel the need to be perfect or put on a mask. I know that I can be myself, and I, and him, will love me all the more for it.

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  9. Pingback: How I Balance School and Blogging!! | Absolutely Olivia

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