Woohoo, friendzz, today I’m bringing you a post that with advice I wish I had earlier on in life, all about how to find your (girl) squad and other friends!! This past year has gone from not-so-great to freaking fantastic when it comes to long-lasting friendships. A falling out with one of my besties led to me feeling insecure in the other friendships I had. I felt like they secretly didn’t like me, I was scared to be myself around them, and I didn’t want to put my trust in any of them.
All those feelings were awful, and it wasn’t until camp where I got to meet all these amazing people who still loved and laughed with me, even if I was being crazy and weird that I realized amazing relationships can be built! Then, quickly into the school year, I fell in line with a bunch of amazing gals who inspire and build me up every day, and I’m super lucky to have them. I don’t think I’d ever clicked with people like this in my life before, and even though I wish it had happened earlier, at least it has happened now.
Every single one of you deserves to find people exactly like the ones I did, so I’ve put together some tips for those of you who feel like you haven’t found your people/squad yet. These tips are meant to encourage and help you in your search, but aren’t everything that goes into finding a solid group of friends. So use them as you want, and I hope they help you all!
I’m gonna start out with the #1 tip I wish I had followed earlier in my life. SEARCH OUT the people you want to hang with! For the longest time, I sat back and let others come to me. I wasn’t always sitting with the people I wanted to sit with at lunch, but rather I was sitting with whoever happened to sit with me. I grew comfortable staying with the same people every day, even if there were other people I wanted to be with.
Don’t be scared to go sit with different people. Ask someone that you’ve shared a few fun conversations with at school to dinner. Look for and talk to people who seem to share interests or draw your attention. All of these things can be super hard to do because you’re putting yourself out there knowing you could be let down or rejected. But trust me, in the end, reaching and searching out others that you would love to spend time with is so WORTH IT, especially if your current friends are toxic. It can lead to amazing friendships that are positive and literally change you for the better!
Takeaway: GO FOR IT! That girl across the courtyard who has super cool style and loves theater, just like you, go talk to her! It could start a great relationship that could lead to meeting even more great people.
FIND PEOPLE WHO ARE #RELATABLE
As I briefly mentioned in the last tip, finding people with similar interests is key! This is definitely a duh tip, but hanging out with someone you don’t have anything in common with can get hard after awhile. Conversation will become harder to create and you’ll run out of things to do together eventually. So don’t put yo’self through that, girl!
Find friends who you can relate to. Whether you play the same sport, both love the same music, or can bond over certain celebrities or YouTubers, all of these things are ways to hang out and to talk to your friends about. When you have something in common with the people you are with, there’s almost never going to be a dull moment, and y’all can do activities together. Plus, relating to people can easily make you closer with them as it allows a connection/bond to form quickly!
CAN LAUGH WITH… AND AT YOU 🙂
What is friendship without laughter?? Not a friendship 😉
That’s why it’s super important that whoever you decide to surround yourself with can make you laugh until you’re stomach hurts worse than after that hardcore ab workout you did the other day. Honestly, when I’m with my friends there isn’t a second that goes by where we aren’t laughing, and I wouldn’t want it any other way! People who can make you laugh and out you in a good mood are typically the people you will gravitate towards, so when on the hunt for friends, stick with them for awhile to see if it works out (it should because if y’all are having the time of your lives together, then y’all should stick together lol).
Also, another important point when it comes to laughing is that your friend(s) should be able to laugh at you. These are the people you want to be your total and complete weird self around, and laughing at each other is just going to happen. If you’re uncomfortable with the person laughing at you, or it seems like they’re actually making fun of you in a mean way, then it may not be the friendship you’re looking for…
Takeaway: Laughter is key in friendships, and being laughed at should never feel mean in a friendship, but rather a celebration of your weirdness 😉
DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS!!
My final piece of advice, and maybe the most important, is to never settle for less when it comes to friendships. Never stick with people who don’t make you the absolute happiest. Never sit with those who don’t love you as much as you love them. Friendship is a two-way street and not a one-sided relationship AT ALL! You should be giving as much as you’re taking and vice versa; one of you should never be the only one ever reaching out to hang out or comforting the other.
Also, here’s a MAJOR POINT: When you’re with your friends you should feel popular. Everyone is always obsessing over this one little word, and whether or not they fit it. But lemme tell ya, you should feel like you fit every definition of the word popular when with your friends! My friends def make me feel 100% like the coolest gal around, and I want you all to feel that way too.
That being said, don’t settle for less. You know the type of people you deserve and want to be around, so that’s exactly who you should be friends with. Friendship isn’t about secret competition or social status; it’s a double-sided coin with both people loving and leaning on one another through everything.
In the end, it’s up to you to find the girls and guys who make you feel like you are one in a million! Keep searching, loving, caring, and laughing, and you’ll find’em sooner or later. I know people who found their squad in the first year of middle school, and I know people who didn’t meet theirs until college. I hope this post encouraged and inspired you to go out there and find your own group of besties! Leave a comment below with some of your own advice when it comes to finding friends 🙂 Thanks for reading and for 2,000 followers!